When we tried this Spring to have our second child, I got pregnant on the first try. We figured out our due date, and came up with names. I took my prenatal vitamins, ate healthy and got much-needed rest. I felt super pregnant. Then early into the pregnancy I had a miscarriage. It definitely affected me much more than my husband. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, since no one really knew I was pregnant to begin with. I felt like a whiner because we have a happy and healthy two-year old. Since I wasn’t that far into the pregnancy, I really felt like I couldn’t complain. I’ve known many strong women who have endured miscarriages and I cannot put my loss on the same level as theirs. But I was sad, and really confused of what went wrong. It’s amazing how much hope and faith we put into something that is only a few weeks old. I had an ultrasound afterwards and everything looks healthy and as it should, so I feel blessed in that aspect. But this whole ordeal, while many women have to endure, made me think about our family path. Was I even ready physically or mentally to get pregnant again? When I discussed adoption with my husband, he was on board. While he definitely prefers to have at least one more biological child, he has always wanted a large family. We met later in our lives and married when I was 28 and he was 31. So for us to have the large family we prefer would put me into my 40s. I am not interested in having children when I am 40!
After reading up on foster care, adoption, and respite care for foster families I felt very drawn to serving these children and giving them a warm, loving home. I can only imagine the wisdom that these children have to share with others. This would be a way for us to have our large family, without me being pregnant at 40, and welcoming older children into our family. Our daughter would have siblings to look up to!