This has been an historic summer for the Supreme Court. But unfortunately, that doesn’t mean equality for all who are trying to adopt… (see link above)
Are you a prepper? I don’t mean for a zombie apocalypse, I mean for natural disasters. Like hurricanes. Or floods. Although I wouldn’t count out doomsday prepping too, don’t get me wrong. We have started quite a stockpile for our natural disaster prepping, including items like food, water, first aid supplies, etc. Have you prepped? What would you add?
I had a nice chat with the “Adoption Director/Case Manager” that sent me the wonderful and mysterious email on Monday. She has worked in foster care for 22 years (!), 11 of which was for the county where I live. She said the trend these days is to foster-adopt, but it should never be a problem for any agency to match. Matching a pre-adoptive placement through foster care means that the child is usually a legal risk placement, and therefore there’s a higher chance that reunification will not succeed. She said that my county definitely needs foster parents, and that they do have children and sibling groups under 8, so if we can find a MAPP training that works for us we should definitely apply through them. She also recommended that I contact the rural county next to me (not the one that I contacted before and who requires you to live in the county to foster), and said that they regularly have foster and adoptive parents from neighboring counties because they are a smaller, more rural county. She said that the sibling group she will have available for adoption includes a 2 year old, a 7 year old and a 9 year old, which I told her was perfect. She said that she can perform the pre-placement assessment (home study) but she can’t do licensing. I was a little confused because I kept saying that we are interested in the group and she kept saying that she could perform the pre-placement if we wanted, but she could only provide some of the necessary requirements. So we didn’t really end the conversation any closer to adopting, but she gave me some great insight into our area as a veteran in the field. I am so grateful for her honesty and willingness to help, and maybe we’ll partner in the future!
Our new play house (from Craigslist!) and chalk landscaping…
“When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there…’ “
After our setback last Monday, I was depressed. My husband was depressed. We want to help, but it seems like nothing in the system is in place to help the children. Anyways, our setbacks just make us try even harder towards our goal of adopting through foster care! We know we can help, and we are willing to do whatever we need to so that we can make a difference.
I sent emails to every contact I had made thus far to find out their policies on pre-adoptive placements and ages of the children. I sought new contacts and went back over the information I received at the county’s foster care info session. There were two main reasons we chose not to go through the county from the beginning. One was that the MAPP schedule for the county conflicts terribly with my husband’s work schedule and our child care provider’s schedule (yes, my mom). The second main reason we chose not to go with the county was because there is an almost 100% chance that in 6 months we will no longer live in this county. We may live 15 minutes away in the next county over, or on the other side of the state. My husband is up for a promotion at work, and it’s literally only a matter of time before it happens. So that has been some stress, as we cannot put our lives on hold waiting forever (we’ve been waiting for about a year so far), but we also cannot be knee-deep in an adoption and just leave the county. So we originally sought an agency that works throughout the state of North Carolina, thinking it might be easier if we start our licensing, get through MAPP training, then move (a little or a lot) and begin taking placements. It seemed right, but the agency was wrong. So now we have to wait for more news on my husband’s job before we apply to any county system for fostering. In the mean time, I am still sifting through state-wide private agencies to see if we have any chance to get licensed through them.
I got this email this morning, but haven’t reached her yet:
Thank you for your interest in the ________. We are licensed to care for children ages one to twenty one, so the age groups always vary, especially with sibling groups. We may in the near future have a sibling group with a plan of adoption where the youngest child is two. If you would like more information, please feel free to contact me at: ______________ Director of Adoption Services/ Case manager
I am so excited!! I need more information!