I got a call this afternoon that the kids will go for their behavioral services assessments tomorrow… roughly a half hour to forty-five minutes per kiddo. I have been pushing for every service/therapist/help I can get these kids. Being in five different foster homes with at least seven other foster/adopted kids at each, I feel like they have fallen through the cracks. I don’t know if they had anyone to advocate for them before. So I am, like 150%. Anything the agency mentions, I jump on. I am hoping to get an emergency clothing allowance for them too. Most of their clothes are at least one size too small and very used. They are very used to wearing too-small clothes.
The seven year old boy cannot tie his shoes. Hubby has been working on it but he just does not grasp the concept. He came to our home with zipper sneakers so it seems that someone has been enabling this behavior. He also has trouble reading. I have all of the kids working in workbooks for their previous grade. All but the youngest seem to have issues completing a task without help reading/comprehending the directions. Our son seems to be having the most trouble, as he reads so quickly he skips words or confuses words. He writes many of his letters and numbers backwards before I correct him. I don’t think they do educational assessments at the behavioral services office but he definitely needs some help here.
Behaviorally I have the most trouble with our son. He’s a sweet kid but his maturity is about the same as Little One–a four year old level. Literally I can treat them the same and punish them the same and it is appropriate for him. I think he is stuck mentally and almost physically when they pulled him from his biological family. I have him in soccer camp this week, which he loves. And he really excels. He hustles every minute that he is there. He raises his hand every time they need a volunteer. He runs when the other kids walk. He is completely enthusiastic. It is wonderful to seem him work hard and excel because he is opposite at home. He whines that no one will play with him. Then when they do play with him he whines that they aren’t good or they don’t do it right. Today I took the girls grocery shopping while he was at soccer camp and man, was it quiet! I couldn’t believe the difference after just removing his distracting presence. I am hoping that we can work on this with him.
The oldest girl is having the hardest time with their mom being pregnant. She is convinced that her new baby brother is coming to live with us. I have been told that there is not a plan for him to go into foster care immediately because the mom voluntarily terminated parental rights. This, for a nine year old, is too much. I get “why can the baby live with mommy and daddy and we can’t?” Which, I mean, how do you answer? She legitimately understands why they have not been allowed back home, for safety and health reasons. So why should this new baby go there? It’s tough.
The littlest girl, who is six, is my instigator. She knows exactly what to do to stir up trouble and push everyone’s buttons. She is also very good at doing it behind my back so I think that someone else is the problem. I am working with her on positive behaviors.
We are doing great and I see progress in them every day. I worry about them in school, at least the oldest two. I don’t think they have learned last year’s information let alone starting to build upon that foundation. I will keep working to get them services and any help they need, especially once they start school.
Phew! Now it’s time for me to get some rest…. recharge for tomorrow!