Rollercoaster Ride

Update: Potential Match. 

I have to update my post yesterday to explain that these children are actually with the county youth services, not one of the outside non-profit agencies. 

This morning I called the director at our foster/adoption agency to explain where we stood on matching with this sibling group and to also find out when we would be approved. She said that we would be approved no later than tomorrow (Friday). Good. Then she said that she totally understood that we were not trying to go behind anyone’s back or go rogue on the agency. It was important to me to make sure that she knew we were not seeking placements from other agencies, but friends contacted us directly. She totally got it. She said that they work with the county social worker assigned to the case very frequently but they had not gotten a call regarding this particular sibling group. Our agency director said that if they hadn’t gotten a call, that might mean that the county already had a backup family in mind within their own pool of candidates. She offered to call the social worker on our behalf and offer our profile as a potential match. I told her, go for it! I explained that we did not know a lot of background on the case but it was almost a favor to friends to at least somewhat pursue this option. She agreed. That was 10:30ish this morning. I haven’t heard anything back.

After I talked to our agency I called the foster mom, Penny, to let her know that our agency would reach out to the social worker. She had asked me last night if I would follow up with the social worker myself today, but since our agency was going to call I did not feel the need to do so. She was apologetic and said that another foster mom from the county had called Penny this morning to set up a time to meet the sibling group and have them move in with her. So when I talked to her at 10:30 this morning she had already talked to the new foster/adoptive mom and they planned to meet at 3:30 so she could meet the kids. This foster mom has three small children so Penny is convinced that maybe playing/helping with the small children might help her jealousy. I’m not sure how moving into a home from three children to five children to six children would help the jealousy, but I am not judging. Penny was working hard to pack up all their belongings and she said she was doing a bunch of laundry for them. She said that at least if our agency called the county that they would know we are available if anything else came up. I agreed. She said the kids have been asking her every day if they are leaving so she was anxious to get them placed. She had them signed up for summer camp and a summer musical so she was very sad that they will be leaving. She also said that she would have to take on some babysitting to have enough money to reach, as she’s a single mother and has two adopted sons. She does not work outside of the home. So it sounded like she was relying on the money from the stipends as her income.

I have lots of feelings about this foster mom and how she was approved to take this sibling group. I am upset that these kids have been moved into a forever home that is unsuitable. I don’t know the whole story but I will write a separate post on how it makes me feel from an outsider’s perspective.

Penny called me back this afternoon, around 2:00. She asked if I had heard from my agency or the county. I said no, that our agency would follow up with me if there was something to talk about. She said that she got a call from the county saying that the kids are not being moved to a new placement today. They said that they had not decided on where the kids would be placed and they had two families to consider. So it sounds like this other foster mom knew she was being considered and thought she was getting placement today, so she set up everything with Penny without the county knowing it!! All around, a mess. Penny’s a mess. The kids are a mess. No one knows what is going on or what they thought was going on is wrong. I haven’t heard anything so I don’t even know if we’re being considered!

The poor kids. They just had TPR not even two weeks ago and thought they were moving into their forever home. Now they don’t know when or where they will be moving. Ugh! I have so many thoughts and emotions I can’t get them all out right now. I have to process them. But mainly, I just feel so sad for the kids. And Penny. She’s sad too.



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