They say that having kids makes you think of others first and become unselfish. Like a major ego-check. I’ve heard how having a child frees you from the self absorption that rules your early years. I would totally agree. Having Madeline gave my husband and I something to worry about other than ourselves. Someone that we HAD to take care of, whose needs and wants would come first because she could not fend for herself. Now, I disagree. Becoming a mother of four has made me selfish.
I HAVE to fend for myself. With four little ones that love nothing more than to have me do every single thing for them, I HAVE to find time for me. Many days, me time may just include shaving my legs and taking a fifteen minute shower. Some days Hubby takes over for me so that I can go to the store by myself. Even taking a five minute phone call is important now. I used to succumb to Madeline’s advanced tactics to keep me from being on the phone. Now I purposely make the children wait (respectfully and safely of course). It is important for me to show them that I am MOM, but I am also a person who has feelings and interests outside of their little bubbles.
Today I took Madeline to a playgroup with some of my favorite local moms. One of the moms there had left her 10 day old daughter with her own mother so she could bring her older daughter to the playgroup. Maybe a year ago I would have been aghast. Like, oh my goodness she just left her brand new baby to come to some silly playgroup (I know, super judging). But today, I was like “get it girl. You need this. And you look awesome.” Because frankly she looked well rested and beautiful. I remember what I looked like when Madeline was 10 days old, when I ran out of the house in between breastfeeding to go to Target. And this mom looked awesome. And good for her to leave her new baby for an hour while she had some time with her older daughter.
My life still revolves around my children. Everything I do each day and every move I make is for these four wonderful babies. But I’ve become an expert in carving out time for myself because I’ve grown to see how important it is. And I’ve also seen how little it actually affects my babies. And now they’ve come to respect my time (if I leave the house. If I stay at home their mommy beacons find me no matter where I am). So I am proud that I am selfish because it also makes me a better mom.