I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, researching, meeting and talking about brains recently.

We’re still working out with Anne’s school what needs to happen. I have met with her 4th grade teacher and the education support teacher at her school. They have copies of her goals for her behavioral health and her most recent IEP evaluation.

She continues to fail math despite the fact that teacher isn’t even grading the division portions of the tests.

She also continues to fail History and Science, despite studying.

I refuse to continue the path that she is on and graduate her to the next grade when she fails to learn the information in her current grade. It has gone on too long. She needed to be held back in 2nd grade when she was getting 50% on those tests but the teachers and administrators were too caught up in her story to do any background on her foundation of knowledge. Hubby and I are in agreement that she will not start 5th grade if she is not doing better with her grades. I haven’t heard yet if she will have additional testing done since her last IEP request was in Spring of 2013.

I also met with Anne’s behavioral specialist this week regarding her current schedule. She definitely agreed with me that it has been very strenuous and it’s an intensive program to master when you are still working at attachment at home and struggling in school. I will hear tomorrow or Friday whether they can cut back her hours to two days a week. Even then, her program will be prolonged. We know that this is not a sprint to the finish, it is a marathon to mental well being. We just want to make sure that if she is spending these kinds of hours (11 hours a week) that she is getting something out of it.

I have not cut back on Huck’s visits. His counselors have a new case load so they have only been coming once a week. I have also taken the liberty of sending all of the girls upstairs with our mother’s helper so that I have just Huck to focus on. This way we get more of his issues resolved. Not that he talks about anything in depth but the counselors can give feedback that he will at least hear and it isn’t me regurgitating the same lecture over and over again. He is still having issues wetting his pants at school. I spoke with the school nurse who spoke with his teacher and they have him going solo a couple extra times a day. This has not yet helped. Huck’s counselors would like for me to take him into the doctor in case it is a medical problem. We will see when that happens!

Lastly I’ve been thinking about my uncle’s passing. We aren’t 100% sure what happened on December 9th, but in the doctor’s opinions it sounds very close to what happened to me almost a year ago. Something happened with a blood vessel or an artery that caused a bleed and his brain swelled. It could have been an aneurysm or a stroke. I am very aware that his fate could easily have been mine too. I am grateful but also cognizant of every day. It’s hard because I know his body just failed. Some mechanism in his body did not work and he died. We go along every day as if we are invincible, but something that’s the smallest molecule on the planet can kill you in a minute. I’ve had a lot of epiphanies since his death and I’m sure that I will have more. I am trying really hard every day to not sweat the small stuff. I am a controlling person so that is very difficult. But when my uncle died no one cared what car he drove or what job he had. He was loved by his friends and family and an inspiration to so many people. That is what counts. So beyond trying to be a good friend and a good wife and a good sister and a good mother (phew! exhausting), I decided to call the agency and open our home to respite care. I love our kids and even though it’s only been 6 months (6 months since placement, can you believe it??), I think they are ready to help heal other children. They also enjoy socializing with other kids and we certainly have the room for it!


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