After taking Huck off the last anti-depressant, when we went to his psychiatrist the doctor decided to start on a different non-stimulant. Huck was prescribed 1 mg of Tenex, a blood pressure medication sometimes used for children with ADHD. The doctor is hopeful that this medication will give Huck more time to think about his reactions. Huck’s been on it for a week and I think it’s making things worse again. We had some time where Huck was off the other medication and his defiance wasn’t so bad. However, he seems back to his tantrums every day, defiant behavior, and now he is refusing to eat. Friday he would not eat breakfast or dinner at home (I’m pretty sure that he ate his school lunch). He finally ate almost at 2:00 on Saturday. And then today he refused lunch and wouldn’t eat dinner until almost 7:00. I’m not sure what he’s trying to prove, but we have food available at all times, healthy options, as well as juice and milk, so it is up to him to decide.
His counselors have started a new incentive plan with Hubby and my agreement. In the next month before winter league basketball registration, Huck has to have 12 “good” days and then he can play. Granted, he’s had no “good” days thus far (especially considering the refusal to eat). So we’ll see if that works out for him or not. They originally wanted to do 17 days but Hubby was concerned that we were setting him up to fail.
We also decided upon a new strategy for his bathrooming issues. After several weeks of full peeing his pants at school, we’ve decided to stop giving it any attention. They will no longer discuss it in counseling since he’s only been lying to his counselors about it anyways. We will no longer call attention to it at home, as Hubby used to check with him every night to see if he was clean. So Huck, who is now 8 and a half years old, was given the choice to wear underwear and choose to be clean, or wear diapers. He chose diapers. So we have told him that it is under his control and we will be ready with underwear whenever he is. Hubby is very hopeful that it will be soon! I am not so sure. He’s said to us and to his counselors that he just needs to stop at recess and go to the bathroom (I’ve told him to go before recess), but that hasn’t happened yet. So who knows how long he’ll be in diapers.
We live this every day, and it’s so hard to explain to others. The reactions that children have, even if they are now in a loving home, their ability to focus, their need for any kind of attention, their maturity, their ability to take criticism… it was all decided long ago when they were neglected for years. And even in a warm, loving and caring home their brains will not recover from the damage. Kids that have been neglected don’t just “get over it.” The damage I’m talking about is living in 11 different homes in 5 years, all before reaching 4th grade, 2nd grade, or 1st grade. We have to do better for our kids. We have to break the cycle.
Our oldest girl, Anne, will be 11 years old next week. I can hardly believe it! She’s nearly as tall as I am, and her feet and hands are already larger than mine! I had a really hard time figuring out what to get for her birthday. She’s really past toys and already has a bunch of the rubber band bracelet things, so I really wanted to get her interested in a hobby. I considered sewing but I’m not sure she’s there yet, and that would require a lot of oversight which I don’t have right now. So I found a local Y arts center and enrolled her in some art classes, including clay and the wheel! I found some sterilite bins at Walmart on sale after the college crowd was in school. I took the white drawer bins and spray painted them, then added some wall decals to make them fancy! I also bought her a jewelry box, some earrings, and a bunch of art supplies like pastels and clay. I’ll let you know how it goes next week! Here’s what I did with the Sterilite bins:
I prepped the drawer units by pulling out the drawers. I made sure I was in a well-ventilated area (outside!) and put down tarps.
I used this Rustoleum spray paint that I found at Walmart that matched the colors in my wall decals. (This is not a paid post, this is what I picked all on my own!)
I made sure to stand far enough back that the spray paint did not pool on the plastic. An even spray was easy and it didn’t take much to coat the plastic.
Once dry, I put the drawers back in and added the wall decals. These decals are also from Walmart and they were like $1.50 for each the sheet of letters and the butterflies. They adhere well and dress up the units very well!
I hope this helps when you have to find something for your 11 year old!