Each adoption, each fostering, and each respite are so different even if the stories of the children are similar. As a family we’ve chosen to celebrate our Family Day rather than Adoption Day. We got through adoption day and are glad to have it past us. Adoption Day brought up a lot of mixed feelings and anxiety. The general idea of Adoption Day is not something we care to celebrate, as it comes with great loss. We are, however, going to celebrate Family Day, which is the day that our kids were placed in our home. Last year they came to live with us on July 14th. If you want to revisit my first blog post after placement, it is here:
I looked up a lot of things to do for Family Day. We considered going to a theme park or a water park. But our kids really enjoy something simpler, and those would not afford us real quality one on one time. So we looked up destinations that are closer to home, within a 2 to 3 hour driving distance. We realized that we are about 2 hours from the Finger Lakes region in NY, where I haven’t been and none of the kids have visited. So we booked a camping “resort,” so that we have a cabin with a full kitchen, bathroom and electricity (the only way you’re getting me camping!). They have pools, playgrounds and a splash park on site and nearby are such beautiful state parks as any you would ever see. So we will be there for a few nights and enjoy our time with the kids!
If there’s one thing I keep telling my husband, it’s that Adoption Day was anticlimactic. And super scary since we thought the judge was going to postpone. It was so cold and methodical. There wasn’t really a chance for emotion.
We weren’t in the children’s lives when TPR occurred but I would have liked to be there. In my mind, the kids became “ours” the day they bounded through our front door and camped out like they had always lived here. They still talk about the first day they came and all of the things we did together, what they wore, what we ate. It was so important to them and to us. I hope to keep that memory alive for them as a good one.
I got a call this afternoon while I was waiting at the bus stop for the kids to come home. I didn’t bring my phone so the supervisor of our county case worker left me a message. She said that she needs to “verify identifying information” in order to process our adoption home study referral. I called back but of course was sent to her voicemail. I am interested to hear what she has to ask us!
We met with our agency case manager for her bi-weekly visit today. She said she has still yet to receive the referral for our adoption home study. At our agency these home studies take about three to four months because they are backed up. So there would be no way that they could get it done before Adoption Day on November 7th, which is the date our county case worker is pushing. She DID say, however, that she doesn’t know if our agency will be the one doing the home study. The county could choose another agency to perform the home study and they might be able to get it done sooner. Our county case worker comes next week for her monthly visit so I will be sure to ask who they are sending the referral to!
It seems crazy that in two months these kids could already be adopted! I haven’t found out how many days that they’ve been in care but with my basic math I think it must be over 1,4000 days in care since 2009. That’s just too many. I am glad that they are a part of our family now!