Moving On…

So this is a distant concern but I’d like to know the answer prior to adoption day… how does the foster care stipend and health insurance work/change when you move out of state? At some point for Hubby’s job we will be moving out of state. Could be in a year or two, or could be in a decade. We don’t know. We know from the county social worker that with the sibling group it will not be a fight to continue our stipends and health insurance for them through the age of 18. Does anyone have some expertise on moving out of state with these in tact? I have asked our agency case manager and she’s trying to get answers. Any help would be greatly appreciated!


It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 32. While I feel like acting 22 on a lot of days, some days I really act 42. And the rest, well I just feel like I’m in my thirties. Having a kid makes you feel old. Chasing around a two year old makes you feel old. But having a kid keeps you young, and playing with a two year old makes you feel young again. My mom turned 60 yesterday. Yes, we share a birthday, among other things like stubbornness and bossiness. What will it be like when I turn 60? What will the world and politics and the weather be like? Will my daughter be married and have kids? Will everyone I love and cherish still be alive?

My sister and I found a cool idea on Pinterest for my mom’s 60th and we’ve been gathering memories from friends and relatives. Along with a TON of baby and young adult photos for a whole photo journal experience. It’s not finished, but I have the groundwork done to show my mom today. I hope she likes reading over everything as much as I did. There have been wonderful stories that I didn’t know about my mom, and wonderful sentiment from all her friends. I guess you can love a person and not realize how much they are loved and appreciated out of your family circle.

This weekend was very rough for me. I was very emotional, exhausted, frustrated and hopeless.

It’s just, I can’t see. After my stroke over a week ago, I lost the lower right quadrant of eye sight in both of my eyes. While some has returned with aggressive aspirin and Plavix therapy, I’m still missing a bunch. Like when I sit and look at the computer screen I can see maybe 2/3rds. So I type almost with my eyes closed, writing the words and letting my fingers remember the keys. Then when I am finished I proofread, hanging my head to the right so I can catch more of a glimpse. I have an easier time reading on my iPhone, and typing in small amounts is easy with the auto-correct. But my work is mainly done on the computer, which is pretty impossible right now. And I feel like a slacker, like with all the hospital and medical bills coming in maybe I should just get on it a bit. But then I get a raging headache from straining too much on the screen.

Cooking is challenging, especially cutting with sharp knives. Things like raw vegetables or meat must be cut very carefully.

Driving, well that’s impossible right now. Even if I already had my surgery and was allowed off basic bed rest, I can’t see well enough.

I tried putting on mascara today, the first time in over a week. I didn’t poke either eye out, so I consider that a small miracle!

We are taking it day by day. But it was hard over the weekend having so many people in and out of the house to help. I miss the solitude and quiet of just having my little family at home, along with a normal daily schedule and the ability to run to the store quickly.

(Last) Moving Update!

I haven’t written about the move all week because I was cautiously optimistic… After last week basically being denied by Wells Fargo for a loan that is half of what they pre-approved us for, and having to scramble to find another lender or rental, I was exhausted. My brain was just fried. But after our concerns were escalated in Wells Fargo up to the CEO’s office (!), we received word Monday night that we could close on the house, and on time! So today is our closing day, and also our Raleigh house went on the market today! So it is a big day for us all around. There’s still a ton left to do, like move in (!), but I get to see my husband tomorrow!! Which is super exciting. It’s been over 2 weeks since I saw him last. Little One is staying in Raleigh with my mother while I travel to PA with the dogs, and then I am coming back down next week for my nephew’s baptism. So I have a few days to make the house as ready as possible for the Little One. It’s been a long 2 months of ups and downs but I am so ready to move and be with my little family again!

And on that note too, I hope that 2014 will bring us new family members! I have received a lot of literature from the PA foster/adoption agencies and I had another call from the Director of one of the agencies. So I am hopeful that we can get licensed and start serving children in our new town!

New Week

Sorry no post Friday, I didn’t have it in me. I was… defeated. Last week was a rough week. Little One stayed with my mom, the dogs were boarded in the pet hotel, my husband was in Pennsylvania, and the movers came Monday. They packed up Monday and loaded the truck Tuesday. They were pleasant and efficient. Because we were supposed to move in Friday the 10th, most everything was packed. I kept out a little bit of clothes for Little One and myself. I kept it low key, sneakers and Uggs, PJs and the bare essentials for cosmetics. All of her new toys from Christmas were packed. I would come to regret this later! I spent the rest of the week cleaning the Raleigh house in preparation for it to be listed. And while I was there one day (that super cold day) a pipe burst and I had to have the water turned off and pay a (very nice) plumber $400 to fix it. Awesome.

Dealing with Wells Fargo for our mortgage, however, was not fun. I don’t know whether to write a brief synopsis or all of the crap that happened because it has been total BS. Basically 5 weeks after we went under contract, Wells Fargo denied us the loan that is HALF of what they pre-approved us for. And not because we don’t make enough money, we make plenty. Not because of our credit, we are in the top credit tier. Not because we have a bad history with them on our current mortgage payments, because we’ve never missed one. Not because we’ve had a bad history with them on our car payments, because we’ve never missed one. They denied our loan because they can’t verify my husband’s commission. Which is about 40% of what he earns. My husband works for a large tech company, and there are probably about 70,000 other people in his company that make salary and commission like he does. I can’t imagine this means that NO ONE at his company can get a mortgage with Wells Fargo. They also have to count our current Raleigh house as debt, even though we have a guaranteed buyout from my husband’s company. So basically instead of moving into our new house on Friday, we were pulling things together to find a new lender and writing angry emails to people at the relocation company that referred us to Wells Fargo and to any Wells Fargo executive we could find. My husband got a call from someone with Wells Fargo in their “National Escalation Team” who is trying to salvage our loan and we’re working with a local bank who can process it no problem. Well, securing the loan is no problem, there is a huge glaring problem for us going with the local bank… our closing will be postponed by 2 weeks. Which is 3 weeks from now!! My daughter is sleeping on an air mattress and I am sleeping in my parent’s guest room. I love my parents, but 3 more weeks of staying with them is a really freaking long time. My poor husband is all alone in a very expensive furnished studio apartment. And I have 4 pairs of yoga pants, no hair dryer, nothing to wear to my nephew’s baptism in 2 weeks, etc. The dogs are boarded, which I feel so horrible about, and that costs $50+ a day. Yuck. Last week was a nightmare, to say the least. We have no idea when we are moving in, no guarantee yet from Wells Fargo or the new lender, and we’re not even sure if we can get the house.  We’re hoping to find out more today, but at the rate this is going I won’t be surprised if it’s Friday before I know when we’ll be able to move in!

Moving Ahead

Very busy these days prepping the house for the big move up North. The movers come on Monday to pack and Tuesday to load. We still don’t have a delivery date in PA yet, but we’re hoping for Friday the 10th. It will be so nice to be in the same house as my husband again! Until then, we’ve just been sending every document imaginable to our mortgage lender in the hopes they’ll give us a commitment so we can move in. We spent the New Year’s holiday negotiating repairs on the house and keeping our fingers crossed that they’ll get taken care of before we move in. There weren’t too many problems, but it is a home that was built in 1970 so we figured there would be. I am trying to just keep calm and enjoy the last few nights in this house!

House Update

Well, we didn’t get the house. It was out of our price range (not sure why the realtor showed it to us) but both her and the seller’s agent said it should be listed within our range. That it was overpriced. So we got our hopes up and and didn’t have a back up, and the relocation company with the seller is unwilling to come down $5,000 to meet us, while we are already stretching $15,000 up from our budget. So we walked from the deal. And now I had to pay for a last minute flight up to Pennsylvania to go house hunting this weekend because our realtor goes on vacation Sunday for a whole week! Eek. Talk about pressure. Plus it’s supposed to snow again. Craziness! Wish me luck on my journey and cross your fingers that I find a house!

No News is Good News?

My husband left this morning to start his new position in Pennsylvania. We won’t see him again until Christmas Eve. It’s going to be a long 3 weeks with a two year old! I helped him pack up yesterday and it was like packing up my first born for college. Don’t forget enough underwear and socks so you only have to do laundry once in a while! None of your things match, what are you going to wear together?? I sent him with toilet paper, paper towels, snacks, antacids, extra blankets and pillows, and an emergency kit for his car. Sigh. It’s been a sad day!


No word from the sellers regarding out house. We know our offer was sent to corporate, since it is owned by the seller’s relocation company, but apparently the asset manager was out sick yesterday. Our realtor said she hasn’t heard anything today but that might not be a bad thing. Or it might mean that we don’t have a house. I don’t know! We don’t have a back up house that we liked from our house hunting trip so we would be back to square one!