We live this every day, and it’s so hard to explain to others. The reactions that children have, even if they are now in a loving home, their ability to focus, their need for any kind of attention, their maturity, their ability to take criticism… it was all decided long ago when they were neglected for years. And even in a warm, loving and caring home their brains will not recover from the damage. Kids that have been neglected don’t just “get over it.” The damage I’m talking about is living in 11 different homes in 5 years, all before reaching 4th grade, 2nd grade, or 1st grade. We have to do better for our kids. We have to break the cycle.
The mother of little Baby Doe, who police have finally found to be Bella Bond, had several children removed from her custody permanently by CYS. Her mother felt it was only a matter of time before CYS also removed Bella. And now, we all wish that her mother’s fear had become reality before she died a tragic death. This case seems all too familiar. We deal with guilt that there is another child in the custody of our adopted children’s first parents. In the same year–not even four months after TPR occurred, our children’s first mother gave birth to another child. I’m not sure how it’s okay for parents to keep custody of a child in the same year that they lose custody of not one but THREE other children. This seems like a recipe for disaster to me. We’re waiting for the call, the day that CYS remove this child from the home. We know it will come, we just don’t anticipate it for a few years. Our kids were generally off the radar until our oldest, Anne, went to school. There her teachers were disgusted by her hygiene and general health, as well as truancy. This is where we believe the first parents will slip up again. Until then, we can only watch the news and hope this doesn’t happen.