This year we are doing something different with our big tree. To honor/include all of our newly adopted kids we are choosing to put ornaments on the tree that we have made together as a family or received together as a family only. It’s already a difficult season for these kids but being included and feeling loved are the most wonderful feelings in the world and might make this year of transition a little bit easier.
The first year that Hubby and I were married and we put our tree, he was super bummed. I receive ornaments each year for my whole life from my Nana. I also accumulated some ornaments along the way from friends, my parents, other relatives, etc. He had maybe one or two to add. He’s not a terribly sensitive man but it made him feel sad. It was like a huge display of YES! these people love my wife. And wow, I have only two ornaments to add. I remembered how he felt this year when considering how our kids will feel this Christmas when we bring out boxes of accumulated Christmas items and they have none.
I haven’t talked a lot about what the kids had in their possession when they came to live with us in July, but suffice it to say that Christmas decorations were not on list. There are no stockings with their names lovingly embroidered. There are no ornaments, picture frames or mangers. They have talked about the items they created for one another at past Christmases but none of those items came along with them.
The holidays are alienating for a lot of people. People who aren’t speaking to loved ones. People who have lost loved ones. People who are long distances from loved ones. And I anticipate that these feelings are going to be pretty major for our three.